50 Things Real Women Don't Do

In all fairness to my article 50 Things Real Men Don't Do I thought it would be entertaining to create an article for women also!

OK, I also had a few requests for retaliation.

Regardless men and women are still awesome and without them where would any of us be?

Something to ponder before you read the list.

Mind you, it wasn't as easy to create this hub since women are near perfect!

Yet I was able to come up with 50 things with a little help from some friends.

You will notice that some of the things that I listed about men I also listed for women because they fit the criteria.

Once again I will emphasize that this list is based on opinions. Feel free to add your opinions in the comment section.

Are you a real woman?

1. Curse and swear like a trucker, unless she is a trucker.
2. Flip another driver the bird, if cut off in traffic.
3. Drink a man under the table.
4. Or do anything else under the table.
5. Take her hormonal rage out on an innocent bystander.
6. Sleep with her mate's best friend or any other friend for that matter.
7. Wear spandex in public.
8. Dress like a hoochie unless you are out clubbing or you are a hoochie.
9. Act like a man, but yet they have balls.
10. Neglect a mammogram due to a few seconds of discomfort!
11. Neglect a pap or colonoscopy because it's degrading!
12. Drive erratically in their oversized SUV's because they can't reach the gas pedal and the cushions they are using shift while they are driving!
13. Go bra-less in public. The girls need the extra support.
14. Apply makeup or tweeze their eyebrows while driving!
15. Have hot flashes, they have power surges.
16. Forget to look in the mirror before they leave the house to be sure that everything is in place.
17. Yell at their kids in public or slap them.
18. Yank their babies out of their strollers by their shoulders instead of hanging up the cell phone to tend to their offspring.
19. Tend to their yardwork in heels (yes I have a neighbor who does this).
20. Start drama, but love drama in movies and books!
21. Mentally, physically or emotionally abuse anyone!
22. Expose their g-string panties when bending over. That string is on the dirtiest part of their body, do they really think that's attractive?
23. Wear clothes that are too tight which emphasizes a muffin top.
24. Wear more make up than a clown, unless it's halloween.
25. Have fingernails that are more like talons or claws.
26. Aren't selfish or self-centered.
27. Trash their mate for the benefit of conversation or humor.
28. Wear shorts where the bottoms of their bottoms are exposed.
29. Burp or pass gas in public.
30. Talk while chewing food in their mouth.
31. Expect the guy to always pay, dutch treat is their preference.
32. Quit before trying and they never give up. Ever.
33. Cook and clean every night, they believe in take-out and a little dust never hurt no one.
34. Expect someone to make them happy, they believe happiness comes from within.
35. Chow down on popcorn, slurp sodas and constantly chatter during a movie at a theater.
36. Talk behind their friends back and then invite them to lunch as if they are BFF's.
37. Floss their teeth at the dinner table.
38. Fabricate stories for attention, unless they are desperate for attention.
39. Demand to be catered to, they cater to others.
40. Walk away from a commode without flushing it. They know no one wants to see their business.
41. Whine or complain. They get the job done. No ifs, ends or buts.
42. Go fake. They accentuate the goods they were blessed with.
43. Kick a friend to the curb because so and so said so and so about so and so. They think outside the box and use their best judgement from prior experiences with so and so.
44. Take things so serious. They can laugh at themselves and can laugh at others also!
45. Never need to touch a public toilet seat, they are trained professionals in how to use the powder room without contracting a deadly disease.
46. Wear swimwear that they are spilling out of. They make sure everything is tucked in it's proper place before appearing in public.
47. Hold up the grocery express lane with more than 10 items!
48. Judge people because they are unique.
49. Blame their parents for what's gone haywire in their lives! They take responsibility for their actions.
50. Do not need a list to tell them they are a real woman!